Creatures of darkness retreat at his name
Forth comes a hero full figured in frame
Clad in the tightest & whitest of drawers
His destiny is protection of yours
No other is suited for the quest
To face the monsters of otherworldly realms
He is pre-destined for the helm
He is the man he is the myth
He is the legend you don't know
He is the masked valhalladrim
The wearer of the helm
And with resentment seeded deep
His power leads him through the fray
To crush the feeble balls of evil
The wearer of the helm
Brought into his heroism by unique ability:
Communication with an ancient speaking piece of armor
With the guidance of this relic he will ravage any nemesis
And bring the vilest forces of this land into submission
As his steel shines in the light
Slices through night with untrained amateur technique
Fueled by courage and love burritos pizza
By luck the whole world he's protecting
No other is suited for the quest
To face the monsters of otherworldly realms
He is pre-destined for the helm
He is the man he is the myth
He is the legend you don't know
He is the masked valhalladrim
The wearer of the helm
And with resentment seeded deep
His power leads him through the fray
To crush the feeble balls of evil
The wearer of the helm
Demons ogres paranormal entities & creatures
Dragons skeletons deplorably unpleasant spirits: fall
He will maim and slay and raise the blade to evil
Conquering the darkness and the takeout as a hero to us all
No other is suited for the quest
To face the monsters of otherworldly realms
He is the helm
He is pre-destined for the helm
He is the man he is the myth
He is the legend you don't know
He is the masked valhalladrim
The wearer of the helm
And with resentment seeded deep
His power leads him through the fray
To crush the feeble balls of evil
The wearer of the helm