Solemn Judgement - Hail Mary Lyrics

I have my fathers eyes
And my mothers grin
And I've carried his name as a heavy burden
For 24 years I carried the blame
But there's no love in a name
Maybe if I held on then you'd come back
You left us once, you left me twice
Replaced us with a white picket fence and nuclear love
You use that cross as a crutch
A crooked dagger just to sever the ties between us

A token problem child with slit wrists and tear stained cheeks
Thinking that all this time because I showed it I was weak
All I ever wanted was to be loved by you

Does my absence keep you awake at night as you think about the person I am?
Or have you accepted your shortcomings as a so called father?
Am I even worth the time to take up that space in your mind?
I knew I was a mistake, I just wish you never said it to my face
I'm so sorry that I wished that you loved me
I'm so sorry that I want you around
Does this make me easier to love?
Knowing that I've become the better person

I've done this all on my own
No thanks to you