A Major Award Lyrics
A Christmas Story Soundtrack Lyrics
A Major Award Lyrics
THE OLD MAN:
Look! Read it.
MOTHER:
Congratulations.
You have won a major award in our $50,000 Great Figures of American Literature contest!
It will arrive by special messenger tonight! Congratulations, you are a winner!
THE OLD MAN:
The time has come
The day is here
The truth is written
Clean and clear
I nearly started losing hope
But then, I opened up that envelope
Here's the proof I'm someone
I'm someone very wise
When you're this astute
You get saluted with a prize
\"You are a winner\"
Those are the glowing words they wrote
It's typed right in their note
MOTHER:
But a winner of what?
THE OLD MAN:
Don't you see?
It could be a bowling alley
Wouldn't that be nice?
MOTHER:
A bowling alley?
THE OLD MAN:
This award is major
They're not skimping due to price
A weekend getaway
Maybe Paris with your spouse
An adobe style house
MOTHER:
But how can they deliver a house?
THE OLD MAN:
Well, they could deliver a deed, for Christ's sake!
Oh, Mr. Parker
Who would believe
The grandeur of the gift that you're about to receive
I won a major award
I won a major award
Who won?
I won
It's me
I see
Well, gee
I won a major award
[knock]
Gasp. Oh my God, it's here.
NARRATOR:
Frank Parker?
THE OLD MAN:
Yeah.
NARRATOR:
Sign here. Okay, haul it in.
THE OLD MAN:
What is it?
NARRATOR:
Well.
THE OLD MAN:
What is it?
NARRATOR:
I don't know.
THE OLD MAN:
Crowbar. Get me a crowbar. And a hammer. Get me a hammer!
MOTHER:
Careful, dear. Look what it says on the side.
THE OLD MAN:
Frajeelay. Must be Italian. I won an Italian prize. Frajeelay!
MOTHER:
I think that says 'fragile', honey.
THE OLD MAN:
Fra-. Oh. Yeah.
NARRATOR:
Without a word,
The Old Man worked in super-charged haste and laide bare his hard-won symbol of victory.
At last, he reached down and held aloft his prize.
MOTHER:
What is it?
THE OLD MAN:
A leg!
MOTHER:
But, what is it?
THE OLD MAN:
Well, it's a... It's a leg! Like a statue.
MOTHER:
A statue?
THE OLD MAN:
Wait a minute. Wait a minute! There's something else in this box.
MOTHER:
What?
THE OLD MAN:
Holy smoke! Do you know what this is? It's a lamp!
This is exactly what we need for the front window.
NARRATOR:
The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone,
and The Lamp blazed forth in unparallelled glory.
THE OLD MAN:
Ohhhhh. Ain't that somethin'?
MOTHER:
It's somethin' all right.
THE OLD MAN:
I wanna see what it looks like from outside! [barking] Shut up, you stupid hounds.
I'm a MAW: Major Award Winner.
NARRATOR:
The Lamp, to my mother's consternation could be seen up and down Cleveland Street,
the symbol of The Old Man's victory. Eventually, the entire would be involved.
NEIGHBOR 1:
What on earth is that?
THE OLD MAN:
Is what?
NEIGHBOR 1:
That window, such a glow
THE OLD MAN:
Oh
It's a big time honor,
An award
NEIGHBOR 2:
I'd never know
THE OLD MAN:
To win you've gotta be
A real puzzle-solving champ
NEIGHBOR 1:
It looks just like a lamp
THE OLD MAN:
It is a lamp, you nincompoop!
NEIGHBOR 1:
Hey! Who are you calling a nincompoop?
THE OLD MAN:
Don't ya see?
That there's a statue
A fine work of art
The kind they only dole out
To the extra-super smart
Friends
It's a major award
I won a major award
Yes, it's a
Grand slam
Big fat
Wham bam
Take that
Award
Hey, did you see my award?
I won a major award
NEIGHBORS:
Who won?
He won
I see
It's he
Oh gee
He won a major award
MEN:
It's a trophy
He can cherish
What a beauty
WOMEN:
Oh, it's garish
THE OLD MAN:
It's astounding
MOTHER:
It's dramatic
WOMAN:
I would keep it
In the attic
MEN:
Like a David standing statuesque
WOMEN:
If the David also did burlesque
MEN:
He's a winner
That's for certain
MOTHER:
Maybe we could
Close the curtain?
WOMEN:
For a window slightly overboard
THE OLD MAN:
Don't you get it?
Ladies, it's a major award
WOMEN:
A major award?
THE OLD MAN:
A major award
WOMEN:
A major award?
MEN:
A major award
NEIGHBORS:
Frank Parker did it
How remarkably grand
Frank Parker did it
Now the world will understand
THE OLD MAN:
I'm the genius on Cleveland Street
A taste of victory so sweet
Now watch, ignite
This little light of mine
Let it shine
ALL:
Genius on Cleveland Street
How can that compete?
THE OLD MAN:
With a down stage
Big brass
Front page
First class
Clear cut
Red hot
Look what
I got
Award
Award!
ALL:
He won a major award
(Won amazing award
For being so bright)
He won a major award
(Get released like a star
It lights up the night)
Yes, it's a true scholastic
THE OLD MAN:
Careful, it's plastic
ALL:
Award
Hey, did you see his award?
(Who'd have guessed he got
Every answer correct)
Frank won a major award
(So impressed, it's a man
You gotta respect)
Who won?
He won
It's he
I see
(THE OLD MAN: Well, gee)
Blame me
That prize
(THE OLD MAN: Oy vay)
Is it true?
Is it you?
It's two-hundred and three?
(THE OLD MAN: Probably)
He won a major award
(THE OLD MAN: I won a major award)
He won a major award
(THE OLD MAN: I won a major award)
He won a major award
Look! Read it.
MOTHER:
Congratulations.
You have won a major award in our $50,000 Great Figures of American Literature contest!
It will arrive by special messenger tonight! Congratulations, you are a winner!
THE OLD MAN:
The time has come
The day is here
The truth is written
Clean and clear
I nearly started losing hope
But then, I opened up that envelope
Here's the proof I'm someone
I'm someone very wise
When you're this astute
You get saluted with a prize
\"You are a winner\"
Those are the glowing words they wrote
It's typed right in their note
MOTHER:
But a winner of what?
THE OLD MAN:
Don't you see?
It could be a bowling alley
Wouldn't that be nice?
MOTHER:
A bowling alley?
THE OLD MAN:
This award is major
They're not skimping due to price
A weekend getaway
Maybe Paris with your spouse
An adobe style house
MOTHER:
But how can they deliver a house?
THE OLD MAN:
Well, they could deliver a deed, for Christ's sake!
Oh, Mr. Parker
Who would believe
The grandeur of the gift that you're about to receive
I won a major award
I won a major award
Who won?
I won
It's me
I see
Well, gee
I won a major award
[knock]
Gasp. Oh my God, it's here.
NARRATOR:
Frank Parker?
THE OLD MAN:
Yeah.
NARRATOR:
Sign here. Okay, haul it in.
THE OLD MAN:
What is it?
NARRATOR:
Well.
THE OLD MAN:
What is it?
NARRATOR:
I don't know.
THE OLD MAN:
Crowbar. Get me a crowbar. And a hammer. Get me a hammer!
MOTHER:
Careful, dear. Look what it says on the side.
THE OLD MAN:
Frajeelay. Must be Italian. I won an Italian prize. Frajeelay!
MOTHER:
I think that says 'fragile', honey.
THE OLD MAN:
Fra-. Oh. Yeah.
NARRATOR:
Without a word,
The Old Man worked in super-charged haste and laide bare his hard-won symbol of victory.
At last, he reached down and held aloft his prize.
MOTHER:
What is it?
THE OLD MAN:
A leg!
MOTHER:
But, what is it?
THE OLD MAN:
Well, it's a... It's a leg! Like a statue.
MOTHER:
A statue?
THE OLD MAN:
Wait a minute. Wait a minute! There's something else in this box.
MOTHER:
What?
THE OLD MAN:
Holy smoke! Do you know what this is? It's a lamp!
This is exactly what we need for the front window.
NARRATOR:
The snap of a few sparks, a quick whiff of ozone,
and The Lamp blazed forth in unparallelled glory.
THE OLD MAN:
Ohhhhh. Ain't that somethin'?
MOTHER:
It's somethin' all right.
THE OLD MAN:
I wanna see what it looks like from outside! [barking] Shut up, you stupid hounds.
I'm a MAW: Major Award Winner.
NARRATOR:
The Lamp, to my mother's consternation could be seen up and down Cleveland Street,
the symbol of The Old Man's victory. Eventually, the entire would be involved.
NEIGHBOR 1:
What on earth is that?
THE OLD MAN:
Is what?
NEIGHBOR 1:
That window, such a glow
THE OLD MAN:
Oh
It's a big time honor,
An award
NEIGHBOR 2:
I'd never know
THE OLD MAN:
To win you've gotta be
A real puzzle-solving champ
NEIGHBOR 1:
It looks just like a lamp
THE OLD MAN:
It is a lamp, you nincompoop!
NEIGHBOR 1:
Hey! Who are you calling a nincompoop?
THE OLD MAN:
Don't ya see?
That there's a statue
A fine work of art
The kind they only dole out
To the extra-super smart
Friends
It's a major award
I won a major award
Yes, it's a
Grand slam
Big fat
Wham bam
Take that
Award
Hey, did you see my award?
I won a major award
NEIGHBORS:
Who won?
He won
I see
It's he
Oh gee
He won a major award
MEN:
It's a trophy
He can cherish
What a beauty
WOMEN:
Oh, it's garish
THE OLD MAN:
It's astounding
MOTHER:
It's dramatic
WOMAN:
I would keep it
In the attic
MEN:
Like a David standing statuesque
WOMEN:
If the David also did burlesque
MEN:
He's a winner
That's for certain
MOTHER:
Maybe we could
Close the curtain?
WOMEN:
For a window slightly overboard
THE OLD MAN:
Don't you get it?
Ladies, it's a major award
WOMEN:
A major award?
THE OLD MAN:
A major award
WOMEN:
A major award?
MEN:
A major award
NEIGHBORS:
Frank Parker did it
How remarkably grand
Frank Parker did it
Now the world will understand
THE OLD MAN:
I'm the genius on Cleveland Street
A taste of victory so sweet
Now watch, ignite
This little light of mine
Let it shine
ALL:
Genius on Cleveland Street
How can that compete?
THE OLD MAN:
With a down stage
Big brass
Front page
First class
Clear cut
Red hot
Look what
I got
Award
Award!
ALL:
He won a major award
(Won amazing award
For being so bright)
He won a major award
(Get released like a star
It lights up the night)
Yes, it's a true scholastic
THE OLD MAN:
Careful, it's plastic
ALL:
Award
Hey, did you see his award?
(Who'd have guessed he got
Every answer correct)
Frank won a major award
(So impressed, it's a man
You gotta respect)
Who won?
He won
It's he
I see
(THE OLD MAN: Well, gee)
Blame me
That prize
(THE OLD MAN: Oy vay)
Is it true?
Is it you?
It's two-hundred and three?
(THE OLD MAN: Probably)
He won a major award
(THE OLD MAN: I won a major award)
He won a major award
(THE OLD MAN: I won a major award)
He won a major award
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