[Toby]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your attention, please?
Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well as that delicate, luscious, ambrosial smell?
Yes, they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like something compared to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen you can't imagine the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There, you'll sample Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savory and sweet pies, as you'll see
You who eat pies Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat pies used to be!
[Customers]
Over here, boy
How about some ale?
Let me have another, laddie
Could we have some service, waiter?
Could we have some service?
What about that pie boy?
[Toby]
Ladies and gentlemen-
[Lovett]
Toby!
[Toby]
Coming, excuse me
[Lovett]
Ale there!
[Toby]
Right,Ma'am!
[Lovett]
Quick, now!
[Customers]
God that's good!
[Lovett]
Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman
Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
[Customers]
God, that's good!
[Lovett]
What's your pleasure, dearie?
No, we don't cut slices
Cor, me eyes is bleary!
Toby! One for the gentleman!
I could up me prices, I'm a little leery
Business couldn't be better, though
[Customers]
God that's good!
[Lovett]
Knock on wood
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Excuse me
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk
[Sweeney Todd]
But it's six o'clock
[Lovett]
So it's six o'clock?
[Sweeney Todd]
It was due to avrive at a quarter and it's six o'clock!
[Lovett]
And it's probably already down the block!
It'll be here! It'll be here!
[Sweeney Todd]
I've been waiting all day!
It should have been here by now!
[Customers]
More hot pies!
[Lovett]
Will you wait there coolly?
[Sweeney Todd]
You'll come back when it comes?
[Lovett]
'Cause my customers truly, are getting unruly and-
What's your pleasure, dearie?
Whoops! I beg your pardon
Just me hands is smeary
Toby! One for the gentleman
Don't you love the garden?
Always makes me teary
Must be one of them foreiners
[Customers]
God, that's good, that is delicious!
[Lovett]
What's my secret?
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret, all to do with herbs
Things like being careful with your coriander
That's what makes the gravy grander
[Customers]
More hot pies! More hot! More pies!
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Excuse me!
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Yes, what, love?
Quick, though, the trade is brisk
[Sweeney Todd]
It's here!
[Lovett]
It's where?
[Sweeney Todd]
Coming up the stair
[Lovett]
I'll get rid of this lot as they're still pretty hot and then I'll be there!
[Sweeney Todd]
It's about to be opened or don't you care?
[Lovett]
I'll be there! I'll be there!
But they'll never be sold if they get cold
[Sweeney Todd]
But we have to prepare!
[Lovett]
Incidentally, dearie, you know Mrs. Mooney
Sales have been so dreary
Toby! Poor thing is penniless
What about that loony, lookin' sort of beery
Oh well, got her come-uppance and that'll be thruppence
[Customers]
God, that's good, that is "de", have you "licious" ever tasted smell such
Oh my god what more, that's pies good!
[Sweeney Todd/Lovett]
Oh, is that a chair fit for a king?
A wonderous, neat, and most particular chair?
[Lovett]
It's gorgeous! It's gorgeous!
[Sweeney Todd]
You tell me where is there a seat can half compare with this particular thing!
[Lovett]
It's perfect! It's gorgeous!
[Sweeney Todd]
I have a few minor adjustments to make
[Lovett]
You make your few minor adjustments
[Sweeney Todd]
They'll take a moment I'll call you
[Lovett]
You take your time
I'll go see to the customers
[Sweeney Todd]
I have another friend!
[Toby]
Is that a pie fit for a king?
Such wonderous sweet and most particular thing?
[Lovett]
Its gorgeous! It's gorgeous!
[Toby]
You see, Ma'am, why there is no meat pie can compeat with delectable pie
[Lovett]
Its perfect! It's gorgeous!
[Toby]
The crust all velvety and wavy
[Lovett]
The crust all velvety and wavy
[Toby]
That glaze, those crimps
[Lovett]
That glaze, those crimps
[Toby]
And then the thick, succulent gravy
[Lovett]
And then the thick, succulent gravy
[Sweeney Todd]
And now to test
This best of barber chairs
[Toby]
One whiff, one glimpse
[Lovett]
So rich, so thick, it makes you sick
[Toby]
so tender that you surrender
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Excuse me
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
Dear, see to the customers
[Sweeney Todd]
Psst!
[Lovett]
All set love?
[Sweeney Todd]
Quick now!
[Lovett]
Me hearts a flutter!
[Sweeney Todd]
When I pound the floor
[Lovett]
When you pound the floor
[Sweeney Todd]
It's the signal to show that i'm ready to go
[Lovett]
Yes, you told me before
You'll be ready to go when you pound the floor
Will you trust me? Will you trust me?
[Sweeney Todd]
I just want to be sure
When I'm certain your in place I'll pound three times
Three times, and then you?
[Lovett]
Three times!
[Lovett]
If you!
[Lovett]
Exactly!
[Customers]
More hot pies!
[Lovett]
God!
[Customers]
More hot more pies!
[Lovett]
Right!
[Customers]
More!
[Lovett]
Wait!
[Customers]
More hot pies!
More hot more pies!
More hot pies!
[Lovett/Toby]
eat them slow and feel the crust how thin
I/She rolled it
Eat them slow 'cause every one's a prize
Eat them slow 'cause that's the lot and now we sold it
Come again tomorow!
[Lovett]
Hold It!
[Customers]
More hot pies!
[Lovett]
Bless my eyes!
Fresh supplies!
How about it, dearie?
[Toby]
Is that a pie fit for a king
[Lovett]
Be here in a twinkling!
[Toby]
A wonderous Sweet
[Lovett]
Just confirms my theory
[Toby]
And most delectable thing?
[Lovett]
Toby! God watches over us
Didn't have an inkling
Positively eerie
[Toby]
You see why there's no meat pie--
[Lovett]
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
[Customers]
God thats good
That is "de"
Have you "licious" ever tasted smell such
Oh my god what more, that pie's good!
[Thanks to relephantbones for correcting these lyrics]