(Ron & Russel Mael)
I've got a snapshot of your Aunt Maureen
She's 90 and you're a teen
I'm trying to cheer you up
Don't be so mean, don't be so mean
Crach, bam, now you're looking good
Tip Top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your Aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good, don't you feel good
Chorus:
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens, the kind
you don't see in magazines
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens, the kind
you don't see on T.V. screens
Tips For Teens, Tips For Teens
Wake up to music
And say you're too sick to go to work
Soon, you will lose all your zits
Tight sweaters no longer fit
Jetsetters will make their pitch
I told you so, I told you so
Chorus
Don't eat that ice cream
It is vanilla
Give it to me
Don't eat that pastry
What's in the middle
Give it to me
Don't eat that burger
Has it got mayonnaise
Give it to me
Keep that mystique up
And wear a "D" cup
No matter what
Don't eat no curry
Before a very
Important date
Do I look so knowing and old and wise
Maby it's those Dacron ties
How come you keep asking me
For Tips For Teens, for Tips For Teens
Crach, bam, now you're looking good
Tip Top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your Aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good, don't you feel good
Chorus