Spectre - Reminiscin' Lyrics

I be reminiscing back to sixth grade
Having consistent thoughts of droppin' a mixtape
That shit was pondering 'round in my brain
Thinking of verses that rappers wanna dictate
Only thing on my mind was "damn, shits great"
I'm never really satisfied 'til I been paid
Surrounded by my own bars like a f*ckin' inmate
You mother F'ers failed to C that i'm in pain
I might just cut you outta my life with a thin blade
I be reminiscing back to tenth grade
Smokin' and chokin' on that earthy dense strain
Thinkin' of drinking on a immense drank
Comin' home hung over on the express train
Mumblin' and stumblin' in to the door like a mess mane
Now, I be spittin' my vocab all over my notepad
Told my Ma I wanna go rap, she don't believe and it's so sad

But what can you do?

What can you do if you're reminiscin' on the past?
Should be livin' like it's your last, f*ck missin' your ass
I'd rather be swimmin' in cash, chillin with women and all that
But i'm livin' in a small flat, while wishin' for a callback
Missing you but you're not the same
Wonder what triggered this thought to my brain
Things are gettin' dark again, so I write a verse to spark a flame
I be reminiscing on friends that were spineless
Questioning my own existence, feelin' lifeless
Man, I feel like time is the only thing that's priceless
I tend to ponder in silence
I gotta pretend that life's great, while I hide and isolate
Writing my silent fate, thinkin' of rhymes right away
Dreamin' of a brighter day, sick of the site o' grey
Just a student of the game, tryna get a higher grade
Wanna be know as the rapper to inspire great
And do it my way