Sponk! - Redneck Octopus Lyrics

Let me tell you all a story, about a redneck on the street
And this redneck is an octopus who lost his hands and feet
If you ask him how it happened, you might think that redneck lyin
But he'll tell you that the story starts in 1989
He was playing Texas Holdem with Mr. Job and Roman G
But they got pissed off when they found bout 16 aces up his sleeve
Then he tried to run away, but he stumbled on his feet
Now that cheatin redneck octopus is eight-leg minus three
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck driving the bus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck octopus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck)
Now he's working for the city in the Dallas County Fair
See that redneck, he's a pentagon be damned if he's a square
He remembers 9-11, Brian Williams live on air
As NYC was crumbling, he said, I got legs to spare
So he signed up for the army, and the Bush-man bombed away
Then he snuck up on Bin Laden, and he Navy sealed his fate
And then Obama gave him medals for his service in the war
But that shrapnel got infected in his fifth leg, now he's four
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck driving the bus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck octopus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Oh he says he starred in movies in a distant foreign land
And the movies he was in was animated all by hand
And if you ask him name the country, he will tell you that he can't
But a 20-minute Google search will tell you it's Japan
Then he tried to get some sushi, but the chef thought he escaped
Then his leg got chopped up foursome calamari by mistake
And so he moved on back to Texas, movie stardom in his past
Now this tripod's in a trailer park all day just smoking grass
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck driving the bus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck octopus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
He's got one foot on the gas, one foot on the brakes
One foot on the steering wheel you know that's all it takes
And he's driving around the city, while he smokes two cigarettes
And you better pay him double, cause he's out on sporting bets
But the story isn't over, he's a brand new divorcee
Yeah, he didn't sign a prenup, now he pays alimony
Because his ex-wife had a lawyer, with a Harvard earned degree
And on his last legs he could stand until the judge said she gets three
Now this octopus is homeless, goin wild on phetamines
Cause his mom and wife and sister left him simultaneously
Now this redneck, he's a circle, just like his family tree
It might surprise you all when I tell you that octopus is me
So take it as a warning, if you don't know what to do
If you don't keep track of all your legs that redneck will be you
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck just because
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck octopus
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck just because
(Look at that redneck, look at that redneck walkin)
Look at that redneck (look at that redneck)
Redneck octopus