Never drink the Tudor water
If you want to stay alive.
Never drink the Tudor water.
You will die, it's no lie,
You will not survive.
Doctor, doctor, can you help me?
Do you know the cure?
Doctor, doctor, can you help me
Treat these open sores?
Take some droppings of mice
And a handful of lice,
Rub it all over your skin.
With these blood-sucking leeches
Cure your diseases.
Now let the healing begin.
Take some droppings of mice
And a handful of lice,
Rub it all over your skin.
With these blood-sucking leeches
Cure your diseases.
Now let the healing begin.
Thank you, Doctor.
I hope this will do the trick.
If you see the Tudor doctor,
You will die, it's no lie,
You will not survive.
That first patient was half dead anyway!
Doctor, doctor, can you help me?
Can you treat my case?
Doctor, doctor, can you help me
Heal my blistered face?
Mash a slug and six worms
To kill all known germs
Rub it all over your skin.
Drink this frog spawn in cider
Deep down inside yer.
Now let the healing begin.
Mash a slug and six worms
To kill all known germs
Rub it all over your skin.
Drink this frog spawn in cider
Deep down inside yer.
Now let the healing begin.
Thank you, Doctor. I feel better already.
If you see the Tudor doctor,
You will die, it's no lie,
You will not survive.
But what else can I do?
Doctor, doctor, can you help me?
What do you suggest?
Doctor, doctor, can you help me
Ease my hacking chest?
Take the skin of an ox,
The blood of a fox,
Rub it all over your skin.
Take this herbal suspension,
It's my invention.
Now let the healing begin.
Take the skin of an ox,
The blood of a fox,
Rub it all over your skin.
Take this herbal suspension,
It's hisinvention.
Now let the healing begin.
Thank you, Doctor.
I feel like a new man.
You win some, you lose some...
When they saw the Tudor doctor,
They all died, though they tried,
They did not survive.
They all died, though they tried,
They did not survive.