Statler Brothers - The Official Historian On Shirley Jean Berrell Lyrics

I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell,
And Shirley she knows me just as well.

I can tell you her birthday and her daddy's middle name,
The uncles on her Mamma's side and the ones they don't claim,
What she's got for Christmas since nineteen fifty two,
And that's only the beginning of the things I could tell you,

I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell,
And Shirley she knows me just as well.

I can tell you her fav'rite song and where she liked to park,
Any why to this very day she's scared of the dark,
How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee,
If there's anything you need to know 'bout Shirley just ask me.

I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell,
And Shirley she knows me just as well.

I know where she's ticklish and her ev'ry little quirk,
The funnies she don't read and her number at work,
I know what she stands for and what she won't allow,
The only thing that I don't know is where she is right now,

But I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
I've known her since God only knows, and I won't tell
I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell,
And Shirley she knows me just as well.
Ole Shirley she knows me just as well