Steel Panther - Heavy Metal Rules Lyrics

Heavy Metal Rules
Couldnʼt make no money as a singer
Didnʼt seem to get too far
So I sell pot brownies and Vicodin
From the back seat of my car
Movinʼ back to Chicago
Gonna rest my achinʼ head
Spotify took my last 2 cents
And the butter for my bread
Gene Simmons said it
Rock and roll is dead
I never did it for the money
I only did it to get laid
But I canʼt buy shots for the ladies
If thereʼs no way to get paid
Now I canʼt get make money on my good looks
Canʼt make it on applause
So I sell nose beers to the kiddos
And thumb my own nose at the laws
But Iʼm never ever gonna stop playing
Even though rock and roll ainʼt paying
Cuz heavy metal rules
Heavy metal rules
Heavy metal rules
And everybody else can suck my f*cking dick
Gonna make my money stealing hub caps
And selling black tar on the streets
Taking handbags from old ladies
While they respond to Trumpyʼs Tweets
Apple came to town a ringing
A death knell for the band
If I canʼt make money selling records
Gonna make it any way I can
And Iʼm gonna keep on rocking your ass
As long as Iʼm on the right side of the grass
Cuz Heavy Metal rules
Heavy Metal rules
Heavy Metal rules!
Madonna- she's a dick!
That punk shit belongs on Mars!
Dokken, Van Halen,, They all f*cking Rule!!!!
And everybody else can suck my f*cking dick