Tom Lehrer - The Menu Song Lyrics

You got soup?
We got soup
What kind of soup?
All kinds of soup
We got beet soup
(That's a sweet soup)
Then there's meat soup
Parakeet soup
Shredded wheat soup
And concrete soup
And the special today, dirty feet soup

Dirty fee, hey, forget the soup, what else is on the menu? Sandwich, eh?
You got sandwiches?
We got sandwiches
What kind of sandwiches?
All kinds of sandwiches
We got a ham sandwich
Or a jam sandwich
Leg of lamb sandwich
Or a clam sandwich
Alabam' sandwich
(That's a yam sandwich)
Or how about a telegram sandwich?

That I gotta see, bring me a telegram sandwich
Sorry, I can't bring it to you, you'll have to eat it over the phone
Okay, forget the sandwich, what's next on the menu? Salad?
You got salad?
We got salad
What kind of salad?
All kinds of salad
We got green salad
Sardine salad
Tangerine salad
Magazine salad
Jelly bean salad
Blue jean salad
And the special today,gasoline salad

Gasoline salad? You gotta be kidding
No, it's delicious, and every 6000 miles we change the oil in the dressing
Never mind, I'll just have dessert, surely, you must have some simple dessert
You got ice cream?
We got ice cream
What kind of ice cream?
All kinds of ice cream
We got plum and rum and bubblegum
We got prune, balloon, and macaroon
We got grape and ape and scotch tape
We got lime and grime and choc'late slime
Sasparilla
Manzanilla
Caterpilla'
And of course plain old-fashioned gorilla

What would you like?
Never mind, I'll just go over to the laundromat and have a bowl of soap flakes