I'm not used to people yelling at me
Especially when they're not inside my head
That guy's mom is in the KGB
Keep the wine coming but don't bring 'em anymore bread
Black socks and Birkenstocks
Vodka tonic and apple sauce
Pretty sure our maître d' is on drugs
And I don't even know what time it is
I hate it when guests assume there's an auto grat
Like come one guys, they pay us below minimum wage
Put a candle under the thermostat
I'll lose my mind if he tells us to close the shades
Black socks and Birkenstocks
Vodka tonic and apple sauce
Pretty sure our maître d' is on drugs
And I don't even know what time it is
Somebody bring this guy a bucket
He's gonna toss his lamb and zinfandel
Says everyone else can go suck it
While they make our lives a small inflatable hell
Black socks and Birkenstocks
Vodka tonic and apple sauce
Pretty sure our maître d' is on drugs
And I don't even know what time it is