ATM Video (MV)

This isn't pretty, it won't flatter
My heart's barren, my thoughts scattered
I fight notions, this won't matter
I feel broken, but I won't shatter

Searching for peace in the words
When it's evadin
Momma said it's what I deserve
I know she prayin
Day to day be workin' my nerves
I'm understatin
Really hate what goes through my mind
The contemplatin

More and more I'm feelin' confined
To isolation
Love's been on a fickle decline
Familiar faces
Unconditional, one of the words
They tend to play with
Was the, first they deserted
Ain't no taste with

This type of emptiness
Been losing hope, I try to cope with all my silliness
Bring others joy, pardon my diligence
Been learning more my value comes from all my benefits

Wish I could put the world on pause
I'm so drained by the way, it be makin' withdraws
Fillin' every vacancy with a grin
Day to day I really feel like an ATM

Searchin' for the good in my flaws
That comfort, zone addictive, really wanna withdraw
Through every struggle find balance with pen
These my deposits, ATM

Take solace in my progression, only striving for more
Stand firm on every confession I've been writing for sure
Navigating aggression, sadness thinkin' it's more
Encompass every direction 'cause I'm really unsure

Of where life's headed for me, and what I provide
Give all of me effortlessly, and still I reside
In knowing that, it ain't enough, it never seems I
Will ever be, accepting it's tough, and so many try

Pushin' me into corners, when already boxed in
My own head, really wish I wasn't so locked in
Fear of failure, carry like a toxin
Sparring my inhibitions, 'cause they always come knockin

Greys in my head hereditary, but stress is secondary
Sick of pullin' hair, losing sleep, growin' very wary
I smile most when optimism collapses
Ain't proud but wondered about the benefits of my absence

Wish I could put the world on pause
I'm so drained by the way, it be makin' withdraws
Been fillin' every vacancy with a grin
Day to day I really feel like an ATM

Searchin' for the good in my flaws
That comfort, zone addictive really wanna withdraw
Through every struggle find balance with pen
These my deposits, ATM

Wish I could put the world on pause
I'm so drained by the way, it be makin' withdraws
Been fillin' every vacancy with a grin
Day to day I really feel like an ATM

Struggle in my allure, find with ease in my gifts
Tend to muzzle it till I'm sure, or the day that it shifts
Cradling on the edge feeling parts of me slip
Carpal tunnels the norm 'cause I'm losing my grip