Billy the mountain
Billy the mountain
A regular picturesque
Postcardy mountain
Residing between lovely
Rosamond and Gorman
With his stunning wife Ethell,
A tree!
A tree!
Billy was a mountain
Ethell was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
Billy was a mountain
Ethell was a tree
Growing off of his shoulder
Billy had two big
Caves for eyes,
With a cliff for a jaw
That would go up 'n down,
And whenever it did,
He'd puff out some dust,
And hack up a boulder
(hack!)
Hack up a boulder
(hack! hack!)
Hack up a boulder
(hack! hack! hack!)
Hack up a boulder
Now, one day, a man in a checkered suit drove up in a big
Lincoln continental, and he laid a huge,
Bulging envelope right at the corner of billy the mountain,
Right where his 'foot' was supposed to be.
Now, billy the mountain, he couldn't believe it!
All those postcards he'd posed for, for over these years,
And finally, now, at last, his royalties!
Royalties! [
"yes, this is he! what? a mountain with a tree growing off of its shoulder?
You're fulla shit, man, what? what, uh, are, are you sure?
Oh well, alright, let me write this down then, sorta take a few notes here, to new york?
Causing untold destruction?"
(my baby, my baby, my baby, my baby, oh!
My baby, my baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby, my baby,
My baby, my baby)
(my baby, my baby, my baby)
"wanted for draft evasion?
Can I, can I fly there immediately and reason with him?
An expense account? and per diem, too?"
Some men say he could dance!
Yes, he could dance.
And here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
The studebaker hoch dancing lesson & cosmic prayer for guidance featuring aynsley dunbar
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, hey!
Right hand from the heart-uh
(professional)
Left hand from the heart-uh
(exquisite)
Right hand from the heart-uh
(homunculus)
Left hand from the left shoulder
To the heart-uh
Twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, twirly, hey!
There were a number of rumors circulating about studebaker hoch recently.
Consider if you will the rumors that have spread that he could write
The lord's prayer on the head of a pin!
Some men say he could write the lord's prayer
On the head of a
Head of a
Head of a pin
(three dog night)
(yeah)
Other still maintain the fact! (good god!)
He was born next to the frozen beef pies
(and that was the main influence on him!)
Boldly springing into action, he phoned his wife (who ran a modeling school),
Whereupon she he ran around the back of 'gimbel's'
To see if he could find some big un-used cardboard boxes
After which, he hit up gristede's for some 'kaiser broiler foil',
Some 'aunt jemima syrup', and a pair of blunt scissors! hey-hey!
Yes, and in the parking lot across the street from the
One fifth avenue hotel (in between a pair of customized trucks where nobody was looking),
He cut out a pair of really, really nice wings, and he covered 'em thoroughly with foil . . . thoroughly with foil thoroughly with foil . . . thoroughly with foil . . . thorougly with foil . . .
Thoroughly with foil
Thoroughly with with foil!
Then he took those 'wings'
And wedged one under each of his powerful arms and sneaked into a telephone booth
He closed the door! and he pulled down his gray denim bus driver type pants,
And he spread even amounts of aunt jemima syrup all over the inside of his legs,
Right underneath his boxer pretty shorts, ha ha ha!
Soon the booth was filling with flies!
(help me, help me, help me!)
He held open the legs of his boxer shorts so they could all get in
Yes! and when each and every one of those little,
Each and every one of those little cocksuckin' flies had gone into his boxer shorts,
And was lapping up all that good aunt jemima syrup,
He bent over and he put his head between his legs
And he said to those little flies in a clear, impressive voice
"new york!"
And the booth and everything lifted up, out of the parking lot, and into the sky!
Studebaker
Yeah, yeah
Studebaker
Studebaker
Studebaker
Yeah, yeah
Studebaker
Studebaker
He's coating his legs
With aunt jemima syrup up and down!
His shorts'll be filled with flies
That will be buzzing all around!
(help me, help me, help me!)
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He's really outa sight!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He does it every night!
Stoodlabaker hoch,
He treats the flies all right
Stoodla-baker hoch
That's why they never bite, hey!
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
He could be a dog
Or a frog
Or a lesbian queen!
(fly to new york!)
He could be a nark
Or a lady marine!
Or he might play dirty!
He's over thirty!
(getting old? say! I don't know!)
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
Cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
(please to new york!
Fly to new york!)
(fly to new york!)
(i don't know!)
His peculiar attire
And the flies he require
Keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
They keep leading him on
'cause ethell is gone
And the mountain she's on
We join studebaker hoch standing on the edge of billy the mountain's mouth.
"billy? I've come to reason with you!
Our great country needs you in the armed forces!
Why, it's all fair and square, the lottery, you know? your number came up
You can't go on running like this forever."
Ethell shook her twigs angrily, but studebaker hoch, un-ferturbed, continued
"listen, you (cough cough) listen, you communist son-of-a-bitch!
You better get your ass down there for your f*ckin' physical,
Or I'll see to it that you get used for fill dirt
In some impending new jersey marsh reclamation
And your girl-friend here will wind up disguised as a series of brooms,
Primitive ironing boards (or a dog house)
Get the (cough, cough), get the picture?"
Billy just laughed,
"ho, ho, ho! if they think they're gonna draft me, they're crazy!"
Now you'd remember that studebaker hoch was standing on the edge of billy's mouth,
So that when he laughed, he lost his balance and unfortunately fell,
Screaming, two hundred feet into the rubble below!
(that was only one hundred feet, you carnaby cutie,
Let's hear another set!)
Which only goes to prove
A mountain is something
You don't want to f*ck with
You don't want to f*ck with
Don't f*ck around
(don't f*ck around)
Don't f*ck with billy
And don't f*ck with ethell
(you saw what just happened
To the guy with the flies!)
Don't f*ck around! [x7]
With
Biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly, biddilly, biddilly
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
Biddilly
The
Mountin!
Thank you for coming to our concert. good night.