[WOMAN 1:]
Is that Madeline Ashton?
[WOMAN 2:]
How much wine have you had?
She looks old enough to be Madeline Ashton's mother!
[MADELINE:]
I can't breathe
God, I need a Xanax
An avalanche of Xanax
Help, the sky is spinning
Hel is here looking like a model
How did she...
God, I wanna throttle
Her perfect little reconstructed neck
The industry deserts me
She did this to hurt me
Now that plain brunette says I look old enough to be my own...
My own...
My own mother!
What is this godforsaken twilight zone?
Gotta get my agent on the phone
I gotta fix!
Wait- Hel- Ernest...
All my life, Helen was at best a 4
Now she's glowing in Dior
Meanwhile my tits are on the floor
Oh, god, it's all falling apart!
Oh!
How- why- they- just...
I'm a two-time Oscar-nominated actress, damnit!
Now I'm out of practice, damnit!
Why does no one want me?
I'm still here, ready as I've ever been
But my skin is drooping down, I can't have cameras zooming in!
I gotta nip, and tuck, and fill, and freeze
And Restylane the lips and Juvederm the knees
Fix the bits, lift the tits, try to hide the scars
Still, it all keeps falling apart, oh!
Oh...
All I wanted was a simple life
Someone to hold at night
While my husband sleeps downstairs
The kind of fame that makes you scared to go outside
A sassy butler who's on call
Tiny gowns because I'm small
And that sweet, enchanting feeling of knowing
That everything I did made Helen jealous!
[CHANCE:]
Do you have your ticket, ma'am?
[MADELINE:]
Ma'am?
I'm a goddamn ingenue!
Do you know who you're talking to?
I am, quote:
"Madeline Ashton, a stunning delight in an otherwise disappointing franchise"
End quote!
And who are you?
[CHANCE:]
Chance
[MADELINE:]
Let me tell you something, Chance
I hope you enjoy being young and a man in Hollywood, because I have to sleep upside-down every night like a bat just to give my body a break from gravity!
You smug, weak, young, smooth, supple, youthful skin!
Give it to me... give me your skin!
Oh, I don't want to hurt you, I just want your skin!
Must stop time
Gotta get the years erased
Gotta get a brand-new face
Madeline stop! Pull yourself together!
Ugh!
Where is Ernest?
Bet he's under Helen's spell
If he still loves her, just as well!
Go get her, Ernest!
Go to Hel!
You never loved me anyway
Who even loves me anyway?
[VIOLA:]
Rejuvenation awaits you
[MADELINE:]
I will not disappear
I'll show them I'm still here
I will not break or fade to black
I swear I'll make my comeback
Wrinkled, wrinkled, little star
Remind them who the f*ck you are
Madeline Ashton will not fall apart!
