[ Featuring Christopher Sieber, Jennifer Simard ]
[MADELINE:]
Oh, that felt good
[ERNEST:]
Oh my god
[MADELINE:]
That felt really, really good
That was like therapy
Honestly, what a release!
[ERNEST:]
That was brutal! You just committed murder! In cold blood!
[MADELINE:]
You know, you're really ruining my high
[ERNEST:]
Your... what is the matter with you?
You are going to get life in prison!
And that is not good for someone in your condition!
[MADELINE:]
Except you can't go to prison without a dead body, and we do not have a dead body!
[HELEN:]
That was rude
That was pretty f*ckin' rude
Just look at me, I've been shot
[ERNEST:]
She's alive!
[MADELINE:]
And yet she's not
[HELEN:]
So rude
[MADELINE:]
Screw you!
[HELEN:]
I need a doctor
[MADELINE:]
Oh, do you?
You're a walking lie
And I can see right through you!
[HELEN:]
Come here
[MADELINE:]
Come here
[HELEN:]
I wanna wipe that perfect smile off your face
[MADELINE:]
Come, give this a taste
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
Come here
You little rat
I'm gonna break you
Tear you to pieces
[HELEN:]
Stop teasing, bitch, just hit me!
[ERNEST:]
Wait, wait, wait!
We're not focusing on the big picture here!
Why is no one dying?
[MADELINE:]
It has to be the potion
[HELEN:]
Oh, you think?
[ERNEST:]
What potion?
[HELEN:]
You think it was the spooky magic drink?
[MADELINE:]
I wish you were dead
[HELEN:]
Don't lose your head!
[MADELINE:]
Oh, shut your hole!
I should've known you took it, too!
[HELEN:]
I took it years before you!
[ERNEST:]
Wait a minute, let me try and understand this...
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
Shut up, Ernest, the women are talking
We've got this shit under control
[HELEN:]
Come here
[MADELINE:]
Come here
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
I'm gonna have you bagged and dropped in a ditch
[HELEN:]
En garde, bitch!
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
Come here
I'm gonna injure you severely
Dearly departed
[ERNEST:]
Stop!
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
We're just getting started!
[MADELINE:]
This is pointless, we can't even inflict pain on each other!
[HELEN:]
Pain?
You wanna talk pain?
You wanna talk Bobby, Kevin, Ernest
And all my other loves you shoved down the drain?
[MADELINE:]
Oh, please don't act like you're the victim here
Admit you've called me trash behind my back
My whole career
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
You wanted my life
So you destroyed it
Admit you enjoyed it!
[ERNEST:]
Stop!
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
Ow, yeah
Hit me!
Ow, yeah
Hit me like you mean it
Do what you will, you still can't kill me!
[HELEN:]
Slut!
[MADELINE:]
Whore!
[MADELINE & HELEN:]
God, that felt good!
